


Blurbs of a Gastard

by SunSwirls



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: ASL, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Welcome to Night Vale Setting, Asgore Needs a Hug, Asgore needs a ton of it, Asriel too, Azzie noooo, Depression, Gastard, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kat needs love, Like legit ones, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Most Night Vale references are subtle or nonexistent whoops, Sarah is awesome, Seduction, and everyone has to deal with the ramifications, cause Gaster is a jerk, some language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-01 02:50:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 18,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13285383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunSwirls/pseuds/SunSwirls
Summary: In an Underfell universe that will likely not make sense because this is literally my first fic on here, not to mention its based off a roleplay which I lost entirely thanks to phone faultiness, there's a family of cat monsters who get tangled up pretty heavily with the characters we know and love - or, in Gaster's case, love to hate (trust me, if you don't respectfully hate him or just hate him by the end of this, I applaud you) - all starting with one.Katherine Joy Hope.Don't worry, I'll fill you in on the important details before I actually start the fic, like who Kat is, who her family is, how the characters got together, etc.





	1. Intro

(CW: abuse (mostly mentions and aftereffects I think), suicide (mentioned), Gaster being a truly horrible, awful person, general dickishness, hell-awful people - but hey, it's Underfell. You probably knew that already. )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alright! If you're here you'd better be holding on to your socks and your sanity, because I honestly don't think I have any anymore. I blame my role play partner XD thank heavens for her though cause otherwise some of this would be a messs lol

 

Okay so to start off, the blurbs basically plunge right in to the story, so it's my job to explain to you what exactly is going on and why all this is happening. You know how, in the summary, I mention Katherine Joy Hope? We start with her.

 

As a quick description, she's a chocolate colorpoint (if you don't know what that means, think Siamese cat. That color gradient/fade it shows is called colorpoint. Chocolate means brown, so) and three feet tall - she's super short, both for cat monsters and in general. She ran from home, as her parents, Kayla and Nick, were abusive to all their kids, but they finally overstepped a line by cutting out her tongue. She was found by Flowey, and he healed her, then took her in to one of his hideouts, nicknaming her Kat. They came across a human named Brooke and successfully helped her through the Underground.

 

Papyrus and Sans, as in any universe, are really important characters. Papyrus pursues the trio through much of the Underground, only wanting to stop when Sans mentions how much like Gaster he's become.

 

Muffet, ironically, is also a really important character. She controls a network (or a web (aha I'm not funny XD)) of spiders who spy on literally everyone. Papyrus goes to her once to hire her to kill Flowey, as she also breeds venomous spiders for assassin teams. She's generally super creepy and kind of a whore...

 

Gaster created Sans and Papyrus. Well, okay, he created Papyrus; he saved Sans. In our lore, Gaster was a human who turned himself into a skeleton using powerful magic when he was on the brink of death. He did the same for Sans. (This is in any universe concerning myself and my partner, mind you, so if I ever do happen to put up another story *shrug*) In going through some of his notebooks, the skelebros found mention of a curse that Gaster had planned to release upon the reality when Papyrus and Sans plotted to kill him. Via a freak encounter with a different reality's Gaster, they discovered it was connected to a tree, and thanks to Flowey, they figured that the tree is the one in the Ruins, where Toriel lives. Toriel isn't entirely sane, so that's a bit of an issue. 

 

Still, they destroy the tree, and the 'curse' breaks. 

 

Asgore was fighting Brooke at that time, and she and Flowey managed to talk him down from fighting. He recognized Flowey's voice, though, and realized he was Asriel. This put him in a state of shock so that when Brooke asked if she could go home, he agreed he'd do what he could. 

 

Turns out, he didn't have to. 

 

Maybe it's an effect of the curse breaking, but the Barrier isn't as powerful, and Brooke can pass through as she pleases. 

 

You remember how I said Toriel kind of went insane? Yeah. 

 

Gaster, in the Void, finds her and decides to reach out, becoming another in her schizophrenic moments, though he actually seems to help. Over time, she falls in love with him.

 

Wondering about Kat? Hey! I was just getting back to her. ;3

 

Brooke, as a favor from Asgore, asks for him to take care of Kat, since her parents are abusive and her siblings have to follow their rules, usually turning their actions similar to theirs. Asgore agrees, and for a while, it's just him Kat, and Flowey.

 

Flowey, however, is worried about Toriel. She's alone, after all, and not entirely stable, so he decides to take Kat to see her, hoping that she'll help in some way, as Toriel is a very caring person and needs something to take care of in order to really be herself. 

 

His plan works. 

 

They visit regularly, then, after Kat manages to help Toriel through an episode (which Flowey was very reluctant to let her do, as Toriel's episodes can be violent) she decides to live permanently with Toriel, theorizing that she'll be able to help more.

 

Gaster, meanwhile, has gotten enough power back to come back into the world, and the first thing he does is whisk Toriel off. It freaks out Kat and Flowey, of course, who search frantically for her. 

 

Basically Gaster brings her back, she's safe, etc.  (sorry realized I was going too far into detail there XD)

 

He starts courting her, and Asgore starts visiting too, as he wants to try to make up with her for what he did. He's trying to do the same with the kingdom, but, uh... 

 

Well, let's just say there's a reason he's seriously depressed.

 

You know the Riverperson, right? 

 

Well, my partner decided to give him a life of his own. It's pretty cool actually. 

 

In here, his name is Farseer. Like Gaster, he was human once, and they were actually friends. 

 

Something happened. Farseer betrayed Gaster. They had a fight, a battle, and Farseer lost. In the chaos of the war, no one noticed Gaster take Farseer to his lab. There, he experimented and tortured Farseer until his mind broke. He became the Riverperson.

 

Upon his return, Gaster found Farseer. Again, he took him to his lab. 

 

But this time, people noticed, Kat among them. And when he was returned, he was absolutely silent. 

 

Kat brought it up to Asgore and Asriel, and the three of them, having already determined that the Riverperson is Farseer from a freak thing that happened while Kat was on the boat, wondered if Gaster might have anything to do with it. All of them hoped not; Toriel was in love, after all. They hoped he was a good man.

 

On her way home from that discussion, Kat stumbled across a ball of yarn. Thinking it might just be a prank, as Flowey has done this to her a few times, she chases it.

 

It's a trap.

 

Flowey goes to find her and ends up trapped with her hours later. They're there for hours until they're teleported to the true lab.

 

Gaster takes Flowey into a different room and starts experimenting on him.

 

And here we get to backtrack!

 

You remember me mentioning that Kat has siblings? She was actually supposed to have a twin, Kylee. Something happened when they were born, though, and their Souls merged. The result? Kat often seems to have schizophrenic tendencies. _Remember her. She is_ **_very_ ** _important._

 

Along these lines, we have her oldest living sibling, Kaylee. She's friends with Sans, originally because they both can complain and rant about what it's like living with abusive people and having to do things they don't want to do. (Similarly, Papyrus and Mettaton become friends because they could connect over being the plaything of a mad scientist.) This fact actually becomes kind of important later.

 

Kaylee is hanging out with Sans when Flowey tells them Kat is missing. They don't make a huge deal out of it at first, all hoping Kat just got lost. They really take it seriously when Flowey goes missing, too. Sans and Papyrus try joining the search, but the closest anyone gets to finding out anything is that they were last scene in a cave that seems to have caved in. Papyrus is almost certain Gaster has them, as in this reality, he remembers the resets, and Flowey has reset a lot.

 

Asgore finally decides to take matters into his own hands and storms the lab, calling Sans and Papyrus to join him. Kaylee, who is hanging out at that time, goes with them.

 

They find out that Gaster does indeed have the two, but they aren't able to save them. Instead, everyone's memories are changed and they're sent to their respective places.

 

While in a cell together, Asgore and Flowey talk. They both have to finally admit that Flowey isn't truly Asriel, and they find a way to accept that and move on. And that is exactly what triggers Flowey becoming Asriel again.

 

For reference purposes, I'm going to describe Asriel. I know, I know, you're probably thinking ‘We already know what he looks like! Get on with it!’

 

Fools. Blind, dumb fools.

 

Just kidding! You don't, actually, though. Reincarnated, he has green eyes. His skin has a green tinge, his fur is flecked with gold, his horns are wooden, and he has a crown, in a sense, of small, golden flowers.

 

What everyone remembers from what Gaster implanted is different, but they carry hints of truth. For example, Asriel and Asgore still remember the conversation, just the place changed. Asriel remembers saving Kat, but they got too close to lava and nearly died. He remembers healing her when they reach the surface, and Asgore finding them. Sans and Papyrus don't remember going to the lab, and Kaylee remembers worrying about Kat. Kat remembers along the same lines of Asriel.

 

You remember Ky, right? If not, go back and read again.

 

Because they share a body, but not minds, Kylee still remembers what actually happened, and she tells Kat, who starts crying. It concerns the Dreemurrs, but it's eclipsed by their joy of Asriel being back.

 

Kat's misery is generally overlooked for a while, and when Gaster discovers she still remembers, he tries to erase it. Ky again tells Kat what happened, and she decides to talk to the bros about it. Those two and her siblings (in this timeline, at least) become the only people who believe her.

 

Just gonna mention as well that Kaylee gets entirely fed up with Kayla and Nick's bullarky and manages to get custody of her siblings, except Kat since she's happy with Toriel.

 

After a while (a few months? Almost a year?) Gaster helps Asriel in the right direction to break the Barrier. Everyone returns to the surface and live in relative peace in Night Vale.

 

A couple months after they go back to the surface, Gaster and Toriel get married. When the invitations go out, Sans, Kaylee, Papyrus, Mettaton, and three of Kat's other siblings - Keili, Kelly, and Noah - as well as Keili’s girlfriend and Kelly's boyfriend, flee Night Vale.

 

From here, there's a split. What you'll see is what I originally wrote on my own. In this, Asgore couldn't handle being alone forever,  as Toriel is marrying Gaster, Asriel is growing up, and very few people like him, and he ends his own life. Asriel and Kat found his dust the next day and wept. Kat fully blames Gaster for it, believing that if he hadn't seduced Toriel, Asgore would never have done it.

 

What you're going to see starts about a year after Toriel and Gaster get married. For time's sake, Kat is now about fourteen and a few months, and Asriel and Brooke are about thirteen.

 

I might post the other side of the split here; if I do, I'll update this to include what that consists of.

 

If you're confused, please feel free to comment! I will answer any questions you may have, and happily!

Also please keep in mind that because they're blurbs they don't always have a definite end. Usually it's because I had another idea pop into my head and never finished the one I was working on, but not always. 

Also, like, a third of this was written by my partner because Gaster was hella hard to write. 

Sooner or later they'll probably all get finished XD

If there's anything you'd like to see, let me know and I'll confer with my partner to come up with something along the lines. 


	2. It starts...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...with insanity.
> 
> Essentially this chapter is just setting up everything else.

“I don't know… She seems to really believe she's right,” Toriel says, uncertain. 

“I know, my dear. But that is precisely why this is the best option for her,” Gaster says, pulling her close. “They have helped you. They can help her.” 

“But what if…”

He shakes his head. “No matter how difficult it will be, this is not healthy for any of our family. You know that I would never lie to you. You know that she is wrong. I regret it too, my love.”

His regretful sigh tickles her ear. “Would that she understood the truth of my love for you, and my affection for her. She is not right in the head. She needs somebody who can convince her that it is all a delusion.”

“I don’t want to make her do this. She’ll hate me. She’ll hate you even more.”

“Better than letting her live like this, miserable and plagued by shadows. She will understand, someday, why we needed to do this. She loves you. She will forgive you.”

His logic is sound in her mind, and she sighs. “Alright, Wing.” 

 

 

“She's in here,” she hears him say. 

She pauses in what she's doing, wary. She's only here because of Toriel. If it weren't for her, she wouldn't step paw in this house. 

A few people - doctors, perhaps? The coat fits - approach her. “You're Katherine Hope?” one asks. 

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“We'd like you to come with us.” 

“Where?” 

“To get you help.” 

Anger finds its way onto her face. “This is his doing, isn't it? He called you. I'll have you know I am not delusional and I am not crazy, regardless of what everyone thinks. My father is dead because of that man.” 

“Ma'am, please. If you're right, we'll bring you right back.”

“No. There is no reason for me to go.” She returns to drying the plate. 

“It wasn't him,” she hears Toriel's voice say, trembling. 

She nearly drops the plate as she turns. “What?” 

“I'm sorry, Kat, but… This isn't healthy. They have good people there. They'll help.” 

“I don't need help, I need him brought down!” 

The people glance at each other, then approach Kat to subdue her. 

“Please, Kat. You need to know the difference between reality and a nightmare,” Toriel pleads. 

“I do know the difference! Don't you trust me?” 

She's grabbed and the plate she's holding drops, shattering. “Let go of me! I don't need to be hospitalized!” 

They pay no mind as they tow her out the door with her fighting every step of the way, yelling to be let go. 

Toriel steps to the doorway, her resolve starting to crumble as she watches her daughter being taken away. 

“Let me go! Let me go!” Blue eyes find red. “How could you do this?” she yells, voice breaking. 

Toriel lifts a hand to her mouth, eyes watering. The deep, deep hurt and betrayal she saw there nearly crumbles her resolve, but Gaster rests a hand on her shoulder. “You made the right decision,” he murmurs. “She will be better when they let her come home.” 

Toriel turns and buries her face in his chest, fighting tears. “I'm a horrible mother… She asked me how I could do this.” 

“You had to, my dear Toriel,” Gaster says, consoling her. “She would forever try to ruin a beautiful thing. You needed to get her help. She will eventually understand why.” 

“I hope you're right…” 

 


	3. A conversation...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...in which a certain best friend comes to visit Kat.

“Miss Hope?” 

Kat turns her head from where she's reading. 

“You've got a visitor,” her attendant says. “Brooke Whitehall, I believe.” 

Kat closes the book and stands. She adjusts her sweater and follows her attendant out to a public area with tables and people everywhere. 

Sure enough, there's Brooke. Kat can't help a slight smile as she sits. 

“You have twenty minutes,” her attendant informs Brooke. 

“Thank you.” 

The nurse walks off. 

Kat inhales deeply and releases it in a sigh, resting her head in her paws. “Well. This is kinda awkward.” 

“How so? The heck are you doing in here, anyway?” 

“Gastard, of course.” Kat shakes her head. “How else would I be in here?”

“Fair point,” Brooke concedes. “Man… I'm sorry, Kat.”

“Not as much as me,” she sighs. “The worst part is, he got Toriel to make the call. She's completely under his control. I don't know what to do.”

“Hey, don't worry,” Brooke says, lightly punching her arm. “You can get out of here, easy.”

Kat looks skeptical. “Huh?” 

“Just do what I do,” Brooke shrugs. “Pretend you don't know.” 

The small colorpoint shakes her head. “I can't do that. It wouldn't work, for one. For two, I know the truth. I can't just ignore it. I tried, remember?”

Her friend frowns. “Well, yeah, but… I dunno, Kat. You can't do much from a mental hospital.” She gestures to the building around them. 

“I think I can, though. I'm allowed visitors since I'm not a threat to anyone's safety. If anyone has questions or needs to talk to me, easy access. I haven't been denied a visitor yet.” 

“Who's visited you?” 

“You,” she admits, rubbing the back of her head. “Still, it's true.” 

Brooke chuckles, shaking her head. “Fair enough. How exactly do you intend to bring him down?”

Kat's expression falls into a frown. “I don't know. My sisters and their significant others, Noah, Papyrus, and Mettaton fled. I mean, I don't blame them - Gaster was hell-awful to the brothers. Naturally their lovers would go with them and logically it makes sense for them to try and bring anyone who will go, but they were my main people to plot with. I suppose if I could get letters…” Kat is really thinking now, drumming a paw against the table. “I don't know what my restrictions are yet. If I can get letters, maybe I can write them. We can resume figuring out how to bring Gaster down.”

“I like the idea,” Brooke says. 

 


	4. An experiment...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...in which Ky convinces Kat to let her try something

_ I know we've talked about this a lot, but I still can't help wondering… How do you think I could get a body? _

_ I dunno. As… He accepted himself or something like that. Anything you have regrets about? _

_ I mean, we've had so much time to talk, I think I covered everything. So no, not really. _ Ky pauses.  _ Do you think it might be better to wait until he's gone? _

_ Yeah. But if you don't want to wait, we could brainstorm, _ Kat shrugs. 

_ Well, I've waited this long. Another few months won't mean anything, right? _ Ky is attempting cheerfulness. 

_ It's really up to you. _

_ It's fine. I can be patient. _

_ Alright. _

Kat's mind wanders for a while, about to the point where she's almost sliding into sleep. 

_ Wait. Go back, _ Ky says, jolting her out of it. 

_ To what? _

_ That conversation. The one with Sans and Papyrus. _

_ Uh... _

Ky sighs, supplying the memory.  _ Sans asked if I ever took over. What if we did that? _

_ You mean… You actually want to? _ Kat sounds skeptical. 

_ I mean, I gotta practice somehow, _ Ky shrugs.  _ We are twins, after all. I'd have to get used to the short height. _

_ What if you don't have a tongue either? _

_ All the more reason for me to get used to speaking without one. _ Ky turns pleading.  _ Please, Kat. It will give us  _ something  _ to do other than therapy, napping, visits, and other fairly boring activities. _

Kat turns it over in her mind, examining every nook and cranny of the idea. Ky waits pensively. 

_ Alright, _ Kat relents. 

Ky senses the control of Kat's body being left empty, and she hesitantly takes it. She's suddenly aware of so many muscles, the heartbeat, the sensations, the sounds, all in a different way. It stuns her to the point where, for a while, their body just sits in the way Kat left it, breathing just on reflex. 

_ Try just opening your eyes for a moment,  _ Kat suggests.  _ It should be simple enough. _

Ky nods and tries to follow her twin’s instructions. It takes many tries, but she finally is able to open them. 

_ Sheesh, you make this look so easy,  _ she complains. Externally, her face pulls into annoyance, and she blinks.  _ Wait, what? _

Kat chuckles.  _ It  _ is _ easy for me. I've been doing it all my life. It isn't too much different than our mental manifestations. You just have to get used to it,  _ she assures Ky. 

Determined, Ky works on figuring how to sit up. 

Through much trial and error, even with tips from Kat, Ky learns how to sit up, work facial muscles, and some basic body expressions mostly dealing with her ears and tail. By this time, it's late. 

_ Man, I'm tired just from that, _ Ky mutters.

Kat smiles a little, taking back control.  _ We can do this again tomorrow, _ she says.  _ Sooner or later, you'll get the hang of it. _ She curls up, pulling the blanket up, and closes her eyes. 

_ I know.  _ Ky smiles.  _ Thanks, Kat. _

_ Of course. You're my sister. _

They give each other the equivalent of a hug, and Kat starts drifting to sleep, as does Ky. 


	5. A fight...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...in which Kat can't stand it anymore.

Kat sits across from Toriel. The motherly goat is looking a bit happier than usual, but it could be her imagination. 

“How are you?” Toriel asks. 

“Fine, I guess. You?” 

“Happy. Excited.” 

Alright, apparently not. “How come?” 

Toriel smiles nervously. “I'm pregnant.” 

Kat stares, her expression going from a mostly curious wariness to completely unreadable. 

As the silence stretches on, Toriel gets more nervous. “Kat?” 

She stares at her for a moment more, then stands. “We're done here.” 

“Wait, Kat-!” 

“No! Why do you keep visiting me, Toriel? You clearly believe I belong here; you're the one who put me here in the first place!” It hurts to say those words, hurts on so many different levels. 

“I want you to understand, Kat,” Toriel pleads. “You're following a-” 

“I am not,” Kat says, actually growling. “I know what's happening. I'm not the blind one here. You are. You're the one who married him. And now you're having his child?”

“You haven't given him a chance,” Toriel insists. “If you just tried to get to know him-” 

“No! I know who he is, Toriel! Stop treating me like - like - like I'm living like you! I am nothing like you!” Barely pausing, she adds, “Maybe it would be better if you stopped coming, because you've made it clear over and over that you will never choose me.”

She regrets the words as soon as they're out of her mouth, and much of the room has gone silent watching them. She watches Toriel's eyes fill with tears as she, too, stands. 

“You're right. You're not like me. You don't understand what you're going through. I'm sorry, my child.”

Kat doesn't answer. 

Toriel looks at her for a long moment, then turns and flees as slowly as can still be considered fleeing. 

Silence prevails for a while, then her attendant hurries up. “Let's get you back to your room,” she says, her voice unusually sweet and caring. 

Kat doesn't resist as she's escorted away from the room, a low buzz breaking out. 

Like usual, Sarah ushers Kat to her room. She chatters as she walks, acting as if everything is important. She acts as if Kat is a person she'd be friends with outside of the hospital. 

Unlike usual, once Kat is in her room, Sarah doesn't bid her a good afternoon or whatever, and instead falls silent for a brief moment. “Are you alright?” she asks softly. 

“Define ‘alright’.” Kat sits on her bed.

“That didn't look like a pleasant conversation.” 

“It wasn't.” It's almost like Kat is looking through her. “She's like my mother. The mother I wanted and people kept telling me I deserved. My actual mother was abusive and would do anything to get me or my siblings to do what she wanted.” She nods to the door. “Her husband - not my biological father, nor the man I called my father; his name was Asgore - is the reason I'm in here. He's like my biological mother. I'm one of the only people who sees it. She won't believe me. Neither will the person I've had a crush on for years. My best friend does, and so do my family, my eldest living sister's boyfriend, his brother, and his brother's boyfriend. They don't live here anymore; they were afraid of him and fled.” She exhales and lays down, lacing her paws behind her head. “He's the reason Asgore is dead. He's the reason for so much of this.” She closes her eyes. “Sometimes I wish I'd dreamed all this.”

Sarah is silent for a moment. “You really believe that, don't you?” 

“I do. It's what got me here.” Kat sighs a bit. “I just wish others believed it, too.”

Sarah just nods this time. “I should leave you be. Don't have too much fun,” she says, smiling. She's back to her usual, bubbly attendant self. 

“Bye.” Kat closes her eyes again. 


	6. A visit...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...in which you really get to see the Gastardry.

Kat exhales as she exits her therapy class. It's the same as always, but she does it. She has to.

She heads for her room, skirting the edges of the commons as they're full of people. She'd rather avoid those she can right now. It reminds her too much of those she's lost to Gaster.

She frowns when she sees her room's door is ajar, and she approaches hesitantly. Why would someone be in her room...?

Opening the door, she freezes. Two words fall from her mouth.

"Get out." 

Gaster is standing near the window, watching the town he owns. He turns to Kat, expression calm. “I simply came to talk with you. That is, of course, necessary for your therapy, my dear.”

"Not in my room! Get out," she hisses in a near yell. 

“I had hoped to avoid making a scene,” he says calmly. “Unfortunately, today I am the bearer of bad news. Toriel is rather distraught at the moment, so she asked me to tell you.”

Kat's eyes are narrowed. "And why should I trust you?" she demands. 

He seems amused. “Any reason you have not to trust me is simply a fantasy. That is why you are here, is it not?”

He gestures towards a chair. “Have a seat.”

Her fur is bristling, but she complies. "That's what you've had everyone believe," she snaps. 

A faint smile. “Conspiracy theories aside, I do have some bad news. I’m sure you felt the earthquake yesterday.”

"Yes." Hostility and wariness battle for dominance over her expression. 

His face is carefully blank, concern thinly veiling the satisfaction beneath. “Asriel, hero that he is, felt the tremors and went to help. He and I managed to rescue some people trapped by the rubble, but the aftershock sent the City Hall walls falling. He survived, but nearly a thousand pounds of rubble fell onto his spine.”

Dread hits her like a bucket of cold water. "What did you do?" she asks slowly, voice trembling. "What are you saying?" 

“I helped him out and brought him to the hospital, but he had overextended his magic, and healing magic can only go so far. Preliminary tests say that his spine is broken, possibly permanently so. He is paralyzed, from the waist down, I am afraid.”

His swirling eyes are calm, false compassion dripping from his tone. The scars stretch their victory across his bone face. 

"No. No. You're lying. You're lying!" Her voice increases to a shout, desperation and fury battling for dominance in her voice.

A soft cry starts from a baby carrier in the corner of the room. It’s a little wail, soft and scared.

He makes a soft ‘tsk’ noise. “No need to shout, my dear. You’ve woken up little Quinton.”

He walks over to the basket, making soft noises to calm his son. 

Kat stares. "Who is that." 

There’s definite triumph on his face as he reaches into the basket with ragged hands and lifts out the baby. He cradles him in one arm. “Shh, shh,” he says softly. 

The crying baby seems to be about a year old, with chubby folds of flesh under his white fur. He’s wearing an adorable baby outfit, no doubt chosen by Toriel. As he begins to calm, a skeleton flashes white and glowing under his skin, turning the fur and flesh transparent. A skeletal hand pokes out of the blanket and reaches for his father.

"Get out." It's a feral growl this time. 

The noise startles Quinton, and he starts to cry again.

Gaster hushes him, cradling his son close. “It is a shame you have not met my son yet. He is a rather charming child.”

He smiles, a fatherly look. “Toriel would have loved for you to be there at his birth, you know. She was crying for you during her labor pains. So many things she wanted you to see... his first cries, his first steps, his first words. Asriel adores him, as well he should. It’s a shame that you can’t accept that Toriel is my wife, and that Night Vale is mine. She still wishes you could come home and end this madness.”

Ky takes control, Kat gladly stepping aside. "GET OUT!" she roars, slashing at him. "GET OUT AND TAKE YOUR BASTARD SON WITH YOU! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN, YOU -" She says several insults and swears.

Sarah hurries in. "Kat! Calm down," she insists. "He isn't -"

Ky keeps screaming and slashing at Gaster. A couple others come in and restrain her, and when she continues fighting, they sedate her. Her screams retract to sobs as Ky lets Kat take control again. They put her on the bed, standing as a shield between her and Gaster as she falls into darkness.

"I'm so sorry about that, Mr. Gaster," Sarah apologizes. 

Gaster gives her a grateful, concerned smile, still holding the crying infant. He put up a shield when Kat attacked, so he and Quinton are both completely fine. The mask is on, and it is perfect, giving him the image of a concerned parent. “It is all right. It was wrong of me to be the one to tell her of Asriel’s accident, I see it now. I was just concerned, and I’d hoped she’d gotten better. I am certain she blames me for what happened to him, poor child.”

Quinton is still screaming in fear, and even his father’s soothing attentions can’t calm him.

"I would have asked you to meet in the commons if I had known," Sarah says, gesturing to the door. "I truly apologize."

The other two left after assuring that Kat is asleep. 

He waves it off, still bouncing Quinton. “No harm done, I promise. She did no harm.”

He looks over at Kat, expression shifting to concern. “Poor child. Does she often have attacks of paranoia like this?”

"No. We've worked with her, but she seems deadset on this delusion," she sighs.

“My wife worries about her,” he agrees with a sigh. “I wish we could let her go free, but if she becomes violent again, especially with my son or stepson around...”

He looks down at Quinton, still crying. The soft expression of concern is calculated, just understated enough to give the impression of a man holding back deep emotions. “I suppose it is for the best. Your institution has done good work for my wife, at least, even if Kat’s issues are intractable.”

"It really is a shame. She's pretty sweet most of the time," Sarah says. "But then there's moments like this, and it worries me - well, all of us, really." 

“I understand. It is worrying. I hope she did not hurt herself. My wife does, occasionally.” Gaster sighs. “Thank you for your time. I won’t bother her anymore today. I should go attend to my family.”

He bounces Quinton in his arms, making hushing noises as he retrieves the basket.

"No. She doesn't usually hurt herself," Sarah says. "She does seem to fight with herself, though. And it was my pleasure," she smiles. 

Gaster quiets his son with a soft murmur, putting him in the basket and smoothing the soft, delicate ears. “Keep her updated on Asriel’s condition when she wakes, please. She’ll likely worry otherwise.”

"I will. Thank you, Mr. Gaster," Sarah says, nodding respectfully.

“Of course.”

With a twist of shadow, he disappears, taking the baby with him. 


	7. A phrase...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...in which one says words that can't be taken back.

“Look, I know you don't like the subject, but we can't just ignore it,” Kat insists. “I know who Gaster really is. He's not the great person you think he is.” 

“Kat…” Asriel sighs. “I know you don't like him, but he's my stepdad. He's been nothing but nice to me and Mother, and I can't see why you think he's evil.”

“I don't  _ think _ , he's evil, Asriel; I  _ know _ it. He's the reason Dad is dead. I don't care if he committed suicide; if Gaster hadn't been so awful, he wouldn't have done it.”

“Kat-”

“Think about it,” Kat insists. “Asgore was holding on for you. I can wish I was a part of it, too, but I wasn't. It was for you. He held out for so long, and then he heard that Toriel and Gaster were getting married. He was depressed. You and I both know it. That announcement was the push that drove him over the edge. Gaster caused it, Asriel.”

“I know Dad was depressed,” Asriel says, “but that doesn't mean that Gaster was the root of it!” 

“Yes it does!” Kat is getting frustrated. “He spread lies, he made him unpopular, he was taking everything he loved from him.”

“No. Dad was trying to be better; the people just couldn't see it. Gaster has nothing to do with it!” 

“He has everything to do with it!” Kat stands. “Why do you still insist that I'm wrong?” 

“Because I know the truth!” 

“No, Asriel! You're blinded by a lie! He’s the reason I’m in here. I’m not crazy, and yet he’s made everyone believe I am, including you, and don’t you dare deny it, Asriel Dreemurr. I know what the truth is. He did this to you, too!” She gestures to his legs. 

Asriel’s face shadows and hardens. “That's low, Kat.”

“It's the truth,” she counters. “Somewhere inside you, you know it.” 

“Stop blaming everything on him! What happened to me was an accident. He  _ helped _ me, Kat. He's a good guy,” Asriel insists. 

“No he's not! He's a deceiving-” She uses an insult that she only really uses referring to him, mainly because it's the only way she knows to describe him. “He's lying to all of you. Why can't you see it?” 

“Why can't you let go of your anger?” Asriel returns. “He's given you no reason to hate him. He's been nice to everyone and yet you insist on holding on to this hatred. Sometimes it's like I don't know you anymore.” 

“Asriel…” She sighs, closing her eyes for a moment as she sits and steeples her paws. Finally, she says, “Do you remember that song I told you about? The one I'd never heard before?”

“You Are Young,” Asriel says after a moment, finding the corresponding memory. “Yeah.” 

“I told you that you could believe I was crazy if you wanted. But I never lied. Never. I have heard that song once and once only because for a long time I didn't want to remember that day. I didn't want to, but I do. I understand ignorance being bliss, but this isn't something I can just let go. Gaster is a threat, and if you don't see it, he'll crush you more than he already has.”

Asriel rubs his face. She's gone into complex territory. But then, anything with her seems complex lately. It hasn’t gotten any better since she was brought to this place. “Kat, I don't think you're crazy - I really don’t!” he insists upon seeing her about to protest. “But this… This just can't be true.”

“And why not?” 

“That isn't Gaster. I know him. And like it or not, he's my step-dad. He's part of my family. I can't just turn against him; it would tear Mother apart.”

“Asriel-” 

Kat huffs, cutting herself off while shaking her head. “You know what, I should go,” she says, standing and pushing the chair back in. “Arguing won't do anything. You're never going to believe me because you think that I made this up.” She pulls her sweater tighter around her and starts walking away. 

“Kat, I don't  _ want _ to argue. You're my best friend and I want to help you. I really do. This… thing you keep chasing, it isn't real.” His voice softens, still loud enough to be heard over the chatter. “Please, we can work this out.”

She stops, back turned to him. She didn't miss that he didn't deny believing she made it up. Turning her head just a little, she says quietly, “If we were really best friends, you would know that I wouldn't make something like this up.” 

And with that, she's gone. 


	8. A session...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...in which I hate Gaster sO MUCH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is where the ASL tag comes in. Kat learned it from Toriel when she was living with her because, back then, she didn't speak. Brooke and Flowey convinced her it was a good idea and she could do it.

The psychologist working with Kat—Daniel—is a friendly looking human, with laugh lines around his eyes. No lab coat, simply a button-down shirt and slacks. His dark eyes twinkle at Kat, warm and caring.

“Now, Kat, how are you feeling today? Any troubles, thoughts plaguing you, nightmares?”

"I'm alright," she answers. "Not much different than usual." 

“Good, good.”

 

The blood stone circle is warm around him, although Gaster is certain it’s only an illusion of his mind. It’s an embrace, a steady warmth of power around him. The truest home he’s ever known…

All is right, all is peaceful and well as he powers up his spells. The world is as it should be. His powers working to exert dominance upon the world around him, and the cool calm of the experiment flooding his bones. A satisfied smile curls his mouth. 

He can hear his wife singing to their son upstairs, and the sound steadies his ragged hands as he gestures and chants. Dear Toriel. So sweet, so innocent despite her scars. So foolish. She is the kind of woman who needs arms around her, and she fell into his so willingly. Asgore is long dust, gone, arms never to close around his Toriel again. 

The triumph makes Gaster smile as the image of Kat speaking to her therapist blooms in front of him.

A spell, more complex this time. 

Fear. The deep, descending fear at the dregs of a monster’s Soul. It starts small, a simple touch, but it becomes deeper and more elemental as time goes on.

 

Kat nods. She's relaxed, and her posture reflects it as she rests in the chair.

And then something changes, something she can't quite put her paw on. A subtle shift, like a light, flowing breeze.

_ Magic, _ Ky answers.  _ It's happening again. I'm sure this time. _

_ Are you really? You weren't last time... _

_ Yes. _ Ky is firm this time.  _ It's definitely magic. It has the same feel. _

_ How do you know? _

_ I dunno, I just... Do. _

Daniel smiles at her. “Do you have anything in particular you’d like to discuss today?”

The light caressings of fear strengthen, becoming deeper and deeper. Her heart rate begins to spiral as metabolic reactions begin to kick in. Fear, free floating and unattached to any external reasons, is one of the most unbearable emotions a person can experience. It cannot be pinned down, cannot be traced, and the things a person will do to drive it away can border on insane at times.

Kat grips the edges of the chair. Knowing it's magic and fighting it are two different things; for one, she isn't entirely sure how, and for two, it's really hard.

_ It's not real, _ Ky says, trying to soothe Kat.  _ It's magic. It's not real. _

Its helping, but she can't quite believe her when this fear is so up front and consuming. Suddenly, everything seems threatening, from the warm, friendly smile on Daniel's face to the comfortable chair she's in. It could all be a trap, could be a big hoax to pin her down for who knows what, and all the while Ky keeps trying to calm her.

She doesn't respond, but her ears are pressed flat against her head. 

“Kat?” Daniel prompts gently, reading her body language. “Are you all right? You seem tense.”

"No. Something is wrong." 

“What is?”

Seems to be working well, he notes with satisfaction. She seems worried.

He ups the pressure ever so slightly.

"I - I don't know." Kat's eyes dart about, trying to find some source of the fear. Ky's feeling it too, apparently; fear has crept into her assurances despite her attempts to keep calm. "I don't know." 

Daniel’s laugh lines crinkle with concern. “Maybe we should try some deep breathing exercises. Close your eyes.”

Kat eyes him nervously, warily. Should she even trust him? She was fine until she came in. Is he the reason behind this?

She manages to find some sliver of logic, which tells her firmly that he's never done anything before and he'd likely be fired if he did. She clings to it, swallowing as she nods and complies. 

“All right. Focus deep, deep inside. Think of something calming, something that relaxes you. Flowing water helps most people, or a safe, calm place.” Daniel makes his voice as calm and soothing as possible. “Now breathe deep, from that calm place. Breathe from your diaphragm, not your shoulders. Ready? One... two... three.”

Kat first thinks of Asriel, but that brings bad memories. Water does come next, but with it a plethora of fears. Many things run through her head, most of them accompanied by either bad memories or fears, before she finally finds one that works. 

Her room, back when she and her siblings all still lived together and with Kaylee, free and happy. 

Situated in that room, she finds it easier to fight this odd fear. Easier, but it's still very much there and powerful. 

Still, she follows Daniel's instructions. 

“Good. Now let it out, on a count of three. One, two, three.”

Daniel can see that her fur is puffed up, and it concerns him. He makes a note on his pad.

Interesting. Gaster watches with fascinated Void eyes. He wants to see if a simple breathing exercise can offset the spell effects.

Kat follows instructions, her exhale slow and shaky.

_ It's just magic, _ Ky says again. She seems to be calming down as well. 

Daniel leads her through deep breathing until she seems more relaxed.

Interested, Gaster ups the pressure.

Terror. Smothering, complete terror, as if the world is ending.

And it's back, and Kat grips the chair. "It's not working," she panics. 

“Breathe deep, Kat. Tell me what’s wrong. I’m listening.”

"I don't know!" 

Daniel makes another note. “Keep breathing, Kat. It’s normal to be scared sometimes. Does this happen a lot?”

"No. I don't know what's going on. I don't know," she babbles. 

“Kat, I need you to imagine you’re in that safe place, all right?” He’s seen patients have panic attacks before, and he crosses over to sit by her and take her paw. Not exactly professional detachment, but it’s probably what’s going to calm her the most. “Now. Breathe deep and steady. The fear won’t hurt you. You’re in a safe place. Nothing is going to hurt you.”

Kat tries listening, but this fear is all-consuming, even knowing it's caused by magic. She pulls her knees to her chest, needing something to hold. 

“Breathe deep with me, okay? One, two, three.... and exhale, one, two, three. Again, one, two, three... one, two, three.”

They're somewhat shallow breaths, but she follows his instructions, unintentionally parroting Ky to herself.  _ It's magic. It's not real. _

As suddenly as it began, the fear switches off. The residual effects are there, but the stimulation is gone.

It's more startling than the fear itself, instilling a sense of dread, like something worse is coming. Her ears, even flat, flick. 

Daniel keeps guiding her through deep breathing, helping her relax.

Gaster lets her stew for a moment, intently watching her reactions.

Kat follows Daniel's instructions, slowly, slowly relaxing and calming. 

Once she seems sufficiently relaxed, he looks at her. “Are you feeling better now?”

Something sparks, like a match against tinder. A bit of anger.

"Yeah."

_ This has to be Gaster, _ Ky says.  _ Jerk. _

“Good. Some people do have panic attacks occasionally. It’s nothing to worry about, you just need to de-stress sometimes.” He smiles. “Is there anything you’ve been doing that’s stressed you out lately?”

"Spending time with Gaster." 

“I understand, but that’s necessary for your exposure therapy. You need to see what you’re afraid of in order to know what’s real.”

Anger, just a little more.

"I'm not afraid of him. He's a jerk. I'm the only one who sees it." 

“Would you tell me why?” Daniel says patiently.

"Why what?" She's starting to sound annoyed. 

“Why you believe that.”

"I remember something no one else does. He changed their memories. He manipulated my mother to marry him. He put me in here to make everyone believe I'm crazy." 

He nods. She’s expressed these ideas to him before. “Your mother was the one to make the call,” he reminds her gently.

More anger.

"Because of him," she insists. "He's gotten everything he wants, except I won't let him. He's taken over this town, crippled my crush, turned my mother against me, and killed my father. I'm not going to let him crush me, too." Her tail is flicking in agitation. 

He nods understanding. “What are you going to do to stop him?”

A torrent of anger. Gaster’s interested to see who she pins it on. Himself, Daniel, or something else.

"I can't do anything from here," she says, anger evident. "He knows it. He's taunting me." 

“Kat, take a deep breath. Calm down.”

"I can't!" Her tail lashes. "He's doing this. I know it." 

“Doing what?”

Pressure.

"Messing with me." 

“Messing with you?”

Fascinating.

Now for the most interesting part.

Using a remote projection spell, he sends his image. Only visible to Kat’s eyes, flickering, elusive, the apparition of Gaster himself appears before Kat. The emotional manipulation is still held, and it’s growing by the instant.

"This fear, this anger, it's-"

Kat abruptly stops, staring. "What..?"

_ Magic. The - _ Ky swears several times.

_ Language, _ Kat snaps. 

“Kat...?”

Kat squeezes her eyes shut, everything still screaming anger. "He's messing with me! He's doing this!" 

“Kat, shhh, calm down. You’re safe.” Daniel discreetly presses the nurse call button, in case he needs help. He takes notes, watching her with concern. “What are you experiencing right now?”

“ _ How do you like my experiment, my dear? _ “

It’s soft, almost spectral.

Kat growls an insult under her breath. 

“Kat. Look at me. Whatever you’re seeing or feeling, it isn’t real. It can’t hurt you unless you let it.” 

“ _ Charming. I do miss the music of your insults occasionally. _ “

"I know it's not real, but he-" Her sentence trails into a growl. "I can't focus!" 

“Take deep breaths, Kat. Pay attention to me, okay? Pay attention to what I’m saying. What are you experiencing?”

The image splits into a thousand pieces, like shattered glass. It dances in the air around her, all over the room. 

He’s made Toriel’s condition worse when it suits his purposes, but he has never intentionally driven a person insane before. He is interested at how long Kat’s Determined mind can hold out before she begins doubting her sanity.

Besides. It will greatly undercut her credibility simply because it is so unbelievable. Why would the king of Night Vale, a man married to her mother, a busy man, a caring family man by most accounts, take the time to torment a broken-down child in a mental hospital? It’s unbelievable, except to the select few who despise him.

And even then, they cannot get their stories out. He has Muffet to thank for that.

"Uncontrollable fear and anger. I don't know why they're happening. I'm guessing magic. I saw him, and he asked what I thought about his new experiment." Her voice is barely controlling and shaking with rage. 

“It’s not uncommon for sufferers of schizophrenia to have uncontrollable emotional reactions to what they see,” he says soothingly. “What you’re feeling is normal.”

“ _ Is this all you wanted of life? _ “ Gaster’s voice comes from all over the room, consuming. “ _ To be trapped in a mental hospital, tormented by visions of persecution? Nearly friendless? Disbelieved? _

“ _ It could have been so much better for you. _ “

Her eyes fly open. "It's not schizophrenia. It's magic," she insists.

_ F off, Gastard, _ she signs. 

“Think about it, Kat. Is it likely the king would cast spells simply to torment you? I’m sure he has much more important things to do, however much you dislike him.”

“ _ You could still submit, _ “ he says quietly. “ _ If you let me wash your memories away, you would live a much better life. I would treat you well. We would be a family. Toriel and Quinton would be thrilled. And of course, Asriel misses you still. _ “

"Yes! It is!" Kat insists.

_ Except it would all be a lie. I'd rather be living a miserable truth than a happy lie. _

“Kat...”

“ _ I suppose you would. But do you ever wonder what your life would be like? If it was all different? _ “

The anger he’s making her feel lets up, replaced by sadness.

"I know what's happening," Kat persists, the angry edge fading. "I know who he is. Everyone else is just blinded by his pretty lies."

_ Of course. But I can't change the past. _ A pause as she hardens.  _ And you killed my father. I'm not about to forget that. _

“You need to listen to me, Kat. This delusion is making you miserable. Just relax. Remember what is real. Your friends are real. I am real.”

“ _ I did not kill him. It was his hand that held the knife. _ “

His voice softens, turns more intense. It’s as if he’s whispering in her ears.

“ _ There are other worlds out there, Katherine Hope. Other lives. I have seen many. The multiverse is varied and large. There is a certain core possibility, close to ours. _

“ _ In it, I am long dead. Asgore Dreemurr still lives, and he remarried Toriel. Asriel is whole and healthy. And you... you are free of this place. You have friends. A sister. _ “

"I know. I know you are real, and so are my friends, and this place, but so..." Her voice wavers as she hears the last bit. "So is what I'm saying," she finishes after clearing her throat, focusing again.

_ You just enjoy seeing me suffer. _

Daniel hands her tissues.

“ _ That world is the one you want, is it not? It is the one you long for. _

“ _ But it can never be, my dear. You need to accept what your world is. _ “

His voice is smooth and soft as chocolate. Fatherly, almost.

“ _ You know what it is to suffer at my hands. You know what it is to oppose me. Is this what sanity looks like? Hearing voices? Is this the life you wanted? _ “

The sadness he’s pushing on her increases. “ _ Come now. This can all just be a bad dream. You are doing no good here. Asriel needs you. Toriel needs you. _ “

_ Why are you telling me this? _

“ _ Mostly to make you understand that what you wanted was a possibility, once. It is not any longer. Any dreams you have of me being killed, dethroned, Toriel’s love for me killed, will never be. This is your world. This is the life you lead. Would you prefer to let me remain your tormentor, let everyone doubt your sanity? Make no mistake, I can drive you insane if I wish. But it will be easier if you accept the world for what it is. _ “

"No one is ever going to believe me," Kat mumbles. It's partly an answer to Gaster, partly a sad thing to herself.  _ I just... _

She closes her eyes.  _ Stop messing with me, Gaster. _

“ _ Do you think I would? I will never stop. Not until one of us is dead. Out of the corners of your eyes, I will always be there. And soon enough, your mind will fall in on itself, shattered beyond repair. This is my city. This is my world to play in as I please. And you, my dear... _ “

His voice is dangerously silky, smooth and soft and fiery with Determination and malice. “ _ You are simply a pawn defending the king. _ “

The fear and anger combine into an enormous burst, twining together into the peak of emotion.

"Stop it!" Kat presses her paws against her head. 

“Kat?”

“ _ Stop? _ ”

More images appear, deluging her in thoughts and colors. Her emotions spike until reality seems a different dream.

“ _ My dear, that is not going to happen. _ ”

Sarah looks in, mouthing to Daniel to ask if he needs her to come in.

The tension builds rapidly, and Kat buckles under it, grabbing what she can in blue magic and forcing it all to the walls without breaking anything - including Daniel. Her eyes are dilated and her ears flat.

Amid the nightmares and panic, she finds barely a shred of logic, but one thing she knows for sure: she won't hurt anyone. Not if they're innocent. 

Daniel is definitely innocent.

"Stop this. Please. Sedate me if you have to. Just stop this," she pleads, looking at him. 

Daniel nods, a sliver of fear showing. He waves for Sarah to come in. “Just calm down, Kat. Just hang on.”

Sarah hurries in. "Kat, it's okay. You're safe. Daniel isn't going to hurt you."

"I know, I know, but there's so many emotions, too many colors, too many words. He's doing this. He's doing this and I can't..." Her eyes squeeze shut. "Stop it. Please. Just stop it." 

Gaster plays havoc with her emotions, pulling out every passion he can perform on her. Fear, anger, sadness, terror, joy, hatred, love, and every emotion in between. He does everything he can to drive her mind into the depths of madness.

“We will. Sarah, do you have any sedatives?”

"Yeah," she says, searching her pockets. She pulls out a vial and a bag with syringes. Kat has retreated into herself, mostly muttering requests for it to stop though it's occasionally punctuated by growled insults. 

Daniel hurries to Kat, grabbing the cat monster and holding her in place so Sarah can sedate her.

Kat startles at the touch, eyes flying open, but Sarah is there, trying to soothe her as she injects the sedative. "It's going to be okay, Kat. You're safe. Daniel and I won't hurt you."

Slowly, the cat monster goes limp.

Sarah exhales, pocketing the syringe and frowning at Kat. "That's really odd," she mutters. 

“She was behaving oddly even before them, claiming that the king was attacking her.”

Gaster smiles in satisfaction, dissolving the spell with a wave of his hand. A single sentence comes.

“ _ Don’t forget, this is only the beginning of your torment. _ ”

"No, I mean this has only been a recent thing." Sarah looks at Kat for a moment, then shrugs. "I suppose I can't really say much, though. I'm not a therapist. I'll take her back to her room," she says cheerfully. 

“Thank you, Sarah. Keep me updated on the way she acts, won’t you?”

Gaster heads upstairs, a warm smile on his bony face. 

Toriel is in the living room, sitting on the floor with her younger son in her lap. She’s singing softly to Quinton, kissing his little palms every once in a while. She looks tired, exhausted by everything that’s happened, but she smiles when she sees her husband. “Your spells went well?”

He kisses her, smiling. “Very well.”

He touches his son’s soft fur with a warm smile.

Things are perfect for him, and he intends to keep it this way.

"Of course," Sarah says cheerfully. She picks up Kat and carries her out.

Something isn't right here. She doesn't know what it is, but something here doesn't add up. She doesn't think Kat is entirely sane - she wouldn't be here otherwise - but a part of her is starting to doubt that. Kat has insisted on this for years, even with the best help they can give her, which leads her to two conclusions: she needs more help than originally thought, and it will just take a while for her to understand the difference between her delusion and reality, or...

Or, she's right. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! This is Sun Swirls' partner in crime! I am a mysterious person who does not have a writing presence on the internet, but I do write stories with the beauteous and talented Swirls, and this particular blurb was around 2/3rds written by me. Playing as Gaster is a difficult undertaking, so I normally write him because, like our beloved Gastard, I am cold and dead inside. I take full responsibility for his evil bastardry. I also wrote Daniel because I take psychology classes and see a therapist for depression, while Sun Swirls completely and utterly has her shit together and doesn't need all that. (She's lying lol)   
> Anyway, yeah!!!! 
> 
> *crawls back under the rock I live beneath*


	9. A table...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...in which more Gastardry takes place.

Kat's mouth is a thin line as she sits across from Gaster. “Still keeping up this charade, then?” she asks as casually as asking about the weather. 

“I am merely trying to help, my dear,” Gaster replies. “You drove Toriel away, and as much as I may comfort her, she refuses to be assured unless I visit. Thus, here I am.” He spreads his hands. “I must say, I doubt starting a rebellion while you're ill is a good idea, my dear Kat.” 

“And when have I cared about what you think? You are the cause of the misery around here, and the sole cause of mine.”

He chuckles softly. “That may be true, but nobody will believe you while you're in here.” 

“Evidently, some do,” Kat replies. “Or else you wouldn't have brought up a rebellion.” 

He dips his head in acknowledgement. “I would like to make one thing clear, Ms. Hope,” he says, steeping his fingers as he leans forward. “Make no mistake, I can crush this rebellion quite easily. I am merely amused and interested in seeing how far it goes.” 

“Make no mistake,  _ Gastard _ ,” Kat replies coolly. “I have no intention of giving up.” 

He chuckles softly again, sitting back. “I've noticed.” He examines his hands. “It really is quite a shame, my dear. You never got to get to know my Quinton. He's quite brilliant. Of course, you would not know that. You nearly killed him the only time I brought him to you.” He tsks softly. “It is no wonder you are still here. With moments like that, I doubt you will never see Toriel’s next child.”

Thinly veiled anger finds a place on Kat's face. 

_ I'm taking this conversation,  _ Ky declares. Kat gladly allows her to take control; the older of the two is better with words. 

“Any child of yours is a bastard, “ Ky says, glaring. 

He shakes his head, amused. “Really, my dear. I would have thought you were above such insults.” 

“Oh, you mean like how you're picking on quite literally a defenseless girl? Thanks for those experiments, by the way _. _ ” Anger practically exudes from every fiber of her being, her tail lashing angrily.

“I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, Katherine,” he says apologetically. The way his gaze is so triumphant, though, they both know that he does, and he's basking in his triumph. 

“Right. Because my abrupt emotional changes happened out of the blue. I know what you're doing, and I'm still not backing down.” 

Gaster sighs. “That really is a shame. Toriel misses you, you know. So does Asriel. You could come home if you accepted their help.” 

“The only help I need is help bringing you down.” 

“Then I'm afraid you're going to be here for quite a long time. You are chasing a delusion, my dear.” 

Ky gets up. “Get out, Gaster.” She turns and leaves, relinquishing control back to Kat. 

He watches her with that smug smirk and vanishes in a whirl of shadow. 


	10. A retort...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...in which Kat finally comes up with something to reply to Gaster with.

Kat glares at him in silence, as has more or less become the custom with these monthly visits. 

“Silence again, my dear?” he sighs. “You know it's part of your therapy to see me, to talk to me.” 

Silence. 

“Toriel asked if you've read anything good recently.” 

Nothing. 

He shakes his head. “I am trying to help you, dear Kat. You must learn that.” 

Silence for a moment. 

“You know, you said once that I'm simply a pawn defending the king.” 

“I can't say I recall saying that. Are you sure it wasn't another one of your delusions?” Amusement tints his swirling eyes. 

“I never had the chance to answer.”

“Alright, say I did say that. What would you have said, my dear?” 

Kat smirks slightly and leans forward, onto the table. “Even pawns can become queens.” 

She stands, turns, and leaves. 

He watches with amusement. “This is quite a game, isn't it, my dear?” he murmurs to himself. “You struggle on in this fight, yet you simply can't see that you've already lost. Checkmate, Katherine.”

He disappears in a swirl of shadow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have anything you'd like to see, let me know! I will confer with my partner and come up with whatever it is! ^^


	11. A spell...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...in which something happens.

Asriel sits alone. He's supposed to be studying, but he's distracted by so many things: his crippling, his weakened magic, Kat, and a memory from years ago when she sang a song to him. The notes weren't all right, and neither were the lyrics, but she did what she could. That song haunts him, for some reason. It's possible that it's the fact that she claims he sang it to her. It could be because it's a song he remembers well from his flower days. But he thinks the real reason is the resulting conversation. 

Kat said that was the first time she had ever heard that song, which probably makes that time the first she ever sang it. It bothers him because he doesn't remember singing it, yet it sounds like something he would have done. And then she told him he could believe she was crazy if it made him feel better. 

Why throw something like that at him and then say he doesn't have to believe? Wasn't her intention this whole time to get him to believe? 

_ “If we were really best friends, you would know that I wouldn't make something like this up.” _

She's grown up. She's pushing now. She brought that moment back up; it has to mean something to her. Maybe if he could - 

“Azzie!” 

The voice breaks him from his thoughts, and he turns his head to see Quinton. He smiles. “What's up?” 

“I wanna show you what Dad taught me,” Quinton says eagerly, stepping into a bloodstone circle. 

Asriel chuckles, wheeling forward to watch, though he's careful not to get too close. “Alright. Go ahead,” he encourages. 

Quinton starts focusing, chanting. Asriel watches curiously, Kat and her claims still in the back of his mind. If she's right, Quinton and Zach shouldn't ever had existed. Toriel shouldn't be with Gaster, and Asgore shouldn't ever have died. 

And that song… 

Wait. Why does he suddenly remember singing that song? And in a lab? With Kat freaking out beside him? And Gaster… 

A memory long changed finally unfolds, showing Asriel the ugly truth, and he stares at Quinton.

The little skeleton goat looks up at Asriel, excited, but the way he's staring at him causes his smile to fade. “Azzie?” 

Asriel just stares at him for a moment, then seems to snap out of it. “That was… That was really good, Quinton,” he says, forcing a smile. 

The little boy lights up again. “I can't wait to show Mom!” He runs off. 

Asriel’s smile disappears, the memory stark and fresh. He runs his hands through his fur.  _ Stars and stones… _

_ Kat was right. _


	12. A wish...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...in which it seems one wish has finally come true.

“You have a visitor," Sarah informs Kat. 

“Is it Brooke?” 

“No.” 

Kat frowns a little, following her attendant out. 

She's led to the public room, and her attendant gestures in the direction of a table hidden by others standing about and talking. She heads for it, then abruptly stops in her tracks, completely still as if frozen by magic. 

It's not magic, though. 

She hears. Hears the slight laugh, once so full of life and joy, now less so, but still bright. Hears them bid goodbye to someone. Hears the squeak she recognizes. 

She sees. Sees the familiar colors. Sees the person talking to them. Sees the too familiar sight. 

She watches. Watches the person wave and walk off. Watches a petal twitch. Watches him turn the wheelchair with a little difficulty. 

Before her, crippled, beautiful, and not as confident as he once was, sits Asriel Dreemurr. 

Kat stares for a long time, and he clears his throat, avoiding eye contact. “Hey.” 

“Asriel.” The breathy word is filled with surprise. In all the time she's been here, he hasn't come to see her after their argument. She finally sits across from him. “I… Hey. It's been so long. I thought you wouldn't ever come see me again.”

“I didn't either. I was afraid to, honestly. We left it on such bad terms…”

“I get it. I probably would have done the same. What brought you here, then?” 

Asriel inhales, holds it for a moment, then exhales. “I found out something. I wanted so badly to believe it isn't true, but…” 

“What is it?” Kat frowns. 

Asriel rubs his face, then lowers his hand, looking at them clasped in his lap. “Quinton - my stepbrother; Toriel's -"

“-first child with Gaster. Yeah I know. The good king has gloated a lot about him.” Kat's tail flicks, annoyance shining through. 

Asriel nods. “Yeah. Anyway, he was showing me something Gaster taught him, and…” He hesitates and looks at her, sorrow and a deep betrayal - not by her, but by Gaster - held there. “I remembered. I remembered what happened in that lab. I remembered what happened when you went missing. What really happened. Kat, I'm so sorry…” 

Kat closes her eyes for a moment, and it seems a weight has been lifted from her. She opens them. “I can't say I forgive you.” 

He nods. “I understand. I just wanted to-” 

Kat raises a paw. “You didn't let me finish.” Her expression softens. “I can't say I forgive you because even if I was upset many times, I never blamed you. I know how hard those memories are, and I'm so sorry, Asriel. You didn't deserve that.” 

“And you don't deserve this. You were right all along. I am so, so sorry I never believed you. I should have. I just…” 

Kat reaches out, taking his hand. “It's okay, Asriel.”

He finally looks at her. “How can you be so calm about this? I expected you to at least be yelling.” 

“Nah. Yelling never did anything. Neither did most other things I did in anger.” She rubs the back of her neck. “I'm sorry for what I said that night.” 

“I am too.”

Kat smiles a little. “How are you?” she asks softly after a moment. 

“I mean I've been better, but I'm alright,” Asriel says. “There's so many things I wish for right now, but I don't think many of them are possible.” 

“Yeah.” She hesitates for a moment. “Has any of your magical strength come back?” 

Asriel summons a vine, and she watches. He tries to lift a chair, but he barely lifts it a few inches before the vine apparently can't take it. It retreats into the ground. 

“I'm so sorry.” 

“It's not your fault.” He looks at his hands. “People haven't been treating me the same, even now. I want to stay optimistic, and I'm trying, but it's… It's hard.”

Kat reaches out to him again, and he lets her take a hand. “I really am sorry. I wish I could fix it, but…” 

“But no one can,” Asriel finishes quietly. “Yeah, I know. Still, I'm lucky it still works. Even weakened magic is better than none.” 

“True, but still. You don't deserve this.” 

“That word seems to come up around us a lot,” Asriel comments. “‘Deserve.’”

“Huh. I never noticed,” Kat says, frowning in genuine thought. 

“Yeah.” Asriel is silent for a moment. “I think it's supposed to be sympathetic.” 

“But it sounds like pity,” Kat finishes. “Always makes me wonder who's being honest and who just doesn't want to seem like ‘that person’.”

“I hope they're all honest,” Asriel says. 

“But not everyone is good.” 

“Yeah.” 

Silence falls between them.

"So what now?" 

"Now?" Kat exhales. Stars; she hadn't thought this far when she'd wished and hoped and dreamed.

"Now... I don't know," she admits. 

Asriel frowns. "But I thought you lead the rebellion?" 

Kat raises an eyebrow. "Asriel, I've never even _seen_  the rebellion. I'm just the reason it exists. A figurehead, if you will." Her expression clouds and shadows. "I could die and the rebellion would still be here. Were it years ago, it wouldn't have taken flight. Now, I'm as important as a grain of sand along the beach."

"Don't say that," Asriel says, looking hurt. 

"Why not? It's true." _He already almost killed me once as it is._ She manages to hide her shiver at the thought. If nothing else, she's an actor, even after all these years.

"No, it's not. You're important to me, and Mother, and Brooke, and a dozen other people." Asriel reaches out for her. 

Kat shakes her head. "That's not enough. You know it's not enough."

He flinches a little, but nods, retracting his hand. "Yeah. I guess you're right." 

Silence prevails for a while again.

"I'm going to have to tell Mom, aren't I?"

"Yeah. She hasn't come to see me longer than you didn't. I doubt even me pleading would get her here."

"It would," he insists. "She still loves you, Kat. She sometimes cries for you in her episodes." 

Kat closes her eyes. The thought hurts. "Don't. Please. Just..." 

She takes a deep, calming breath. "Yes. You're going to have to tell her. She'll never believe it from me, but from you, she might." She opens her eyes. "If you need to know what to do, ask Brooke. She'll help." 

Asriel nods. "Okay." He rolls backwards, then pauses. "I promise I'll come see you again."

Blue meets green as Kat locks gazes with him. With surprising bitterness from the sweet girl he remembered, she says, "Don't make promises you don't intend to keep." 

He hesitates, then nods. 

She gets up and walks away, drawing her sweater closer around her, as if hugging herself. It makes him want to chase after her and hug her for the rest of their lives, give her love and attention. 

How much has she gotten here? Not much, he'd guess. He doesn't know a whole lot about these institutions, but he knows that they don't usually allow touch. This place is likely the same. And with her being here for years...

With a start as she disappears, he realized that she isn't a girl anymore. She's a woman. Five years of her life, the years she should've been learning and laughing and living right along with people who love her, gone.

He rubs his face, the thought making him want to cry. She shouldn't had to have spent those years in a sterile, cold environment like this. Not when she'd already received so little love growing up.

He needs to go. He needs to fulfill her wish. It's the least he can do for her, for all he didn't do. 

Turning with a little difficulty, he wheels out. 


	13. A cry...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ....in which the truth is revealed.

~~~~"Mother?”

“In here,” she calls, humming as she sews one of Quinton’s blankets up. Zach is asleep in his bed; it explains Toriel’s humming.

Asriel wheels through the house until he finds her. “I…” He exhales, rubbing his face with one hand, wondering if he should even tell her. She has a right to know. “I have something to tell you. It's… It's about Gaster.”

Toriel finishes a stitch and sets the blanket down, frowning curiously at Asriel. “Okay,” she says. 

He rocks back and forth in the wheelchair for a moment, then wheels over to her, resting a hand on hers. “It's also about Kat.” 

Toriel's frown deepens, becomes more serious. “I'm listening, Asriel.” 

He takes a deep breath. “Quinton was just showing me a spell Gaster taught him. I don't know what it was, but somehow, I learned something.” 

He takes her hand in both of his, leaf green eyes searching red. Toriel seems concerned, wondering where this is leading. 

“Kat once told me something she said happening in the lab. When Quinton did that spell, I remembered it.” He inhales. “Kat was right. She was always right.” 

“What?” 

“The day she went missing, I went after her. I found her in a cave with a cot and two bowls, one with water and the other with mushroom bits as food. It was set up as if for a pet. She knew it was an insult and I tried comforting her. 

“We were in there for a long time. I tried calling for help, but nobody came. Finally, we were transported to a room in a lab that had the same setup. The door opened, and…” He exhales, closing his eyes for a moment. 

Toriel is getting more afraid of how this story is going. 

“The door opened, and Gaster was the one who walked in,” Asriel says quietly. 

A hand flies to her mouth. “What?” she breathes, eyes wide with dismay. 

Asriel tells the rest of the story, and when he finally looks up, Toriel is crying and muttering to herself. He lets go of her hand, and she buries her face in them. He puts his arms around her and closes his eyes. Close up, he can hear what she's saying. 

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he can't be, not Wing. Not my Wing. He's good, he loves me, he…” 

“I'm so sorry, Mother,” Asriel says, voice thick with emotion. 

Kat was right the entire time. Gaster betrayed them all, and then he kept deceiving them. Was there anything he did that was for them?

His thoughts stray to his stepbrothers. Did he have an ultimate goal for them, if he didn't want them because he loves Toriel? He's lied so much about that day. What's to say that everything else hasn't been a lie, too? 


	14. An anger...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...in which it isn't entirely unjustified.

Carrying Zach and holding Quinton’s hand, Toriel hurries through the streets, glancing about nervously. She finds the building and heads in, shushing Quinton a bit as they hurry through the building. 

When she finally reaches their destination, she stops. She talks to the receptionist and she waves her through. The next room is full of people, and Quinton gets a mischievous look. He tries slipping away from Toriel, but she keeps a firm hold on him, even as she sits. Zach babbles about this or that, looking around with wide, black eyes. 

The person she's come to see enters the room and is shown in her direction. They head over, then stop dead. 

“Toriel.” That one word carries so much emotion. 

Toriel swallows. “Hello, Kat.” 

“What are you doing here?” 

“I…” She fidgets. “I wanted to see you.”

Kat raises an eyebrow, folding her arms. “You haven't come to see me in years.”

“I know.” Toriel looks down. “I know. I'm sorry, my child.” 

Kat looks at her for a long time, not responding. She doesn't have to for a moment. 

“Mama, who's that?” Quinton asks in a loud whisper. 

Kat's gaze is drawn to him, and her eyes narrow. “You brought them.” She tries keeping her voice neutral, but anger is evident. 

“I… I did. I didn't know what else to do with them; they're my children and I don't want to…” Toriel's brief moment of looking at Kat ends after seeing the anger, and her gaze goes back to the floor. “I don't want to leave them with him.” She turns her attention to Quinton for a moment. “This is Kat.”

“Why not? He's your husband, isn't he, Toriel Dreemurr? Mm, wait, I suppose it's Toriel  _ Gaster _ now.” Kat still sounds angry. “I'm going to ask you one more time, Toriel. Why did you come here?” 

“Kat, I-” 

“I don't want excuses, Mom.” 

“Kat, you don't understand,” she pleads. 

“I understand more than you do.” She stands. “If you've just come here to try and talk me out of my ‘delusion’, you can g-” 

“Katherine Joy Hope, listen to me!” Toriel says desperately. 

Kat is silent, watching her with some confusion. 

“I came to apologize. You were right. I should have believed you.”

Blue eyes blink; evidently she wasn’t expecting that. She sits back down.

“You were right about everything. I just… I didn’t want to believe it. He was so good to me, and he made me feel alive again, and he helped so much…” Toriel’s eyes close.

Kat doesn’t answer.

“I wanted to believe he was a good man. I wanted to believe he hadn’t done all those awful things. But I..." Toriel takes a deep breath to calm a bit. "Asriel told me the truth.” Her eyes open and, like the day Kat was carted off to this place, red eyes meet blue. “I am so, so sorry, Kat. I…” She starts shaking.

Kat looks at her for a long moment, then exhales, reaching out to Toriel. “I know. I know, Mom.”

Quinton tugs on Toriel's sleeve. “Can I go play with Zach?” he asks in the same loud whisper. Kat's attention is again drawn to him, and if she had a tongue, she'd be biting it. 

Toriel looks at him and smooths his ears. “Yes, but keep an eye on him and stay close,” she says, setting Zach down. 

“Come on Zach,” Quinton says, racing off. Giggling, his little brother chases after him. 

Kat watches with an unreadable expression. 

“Don't hate them for my mistakes,” Toriel pleads softly after a moment. “They're innocents in this.” 

Kat doesn't answer, watching them. Finally, she sighs and turns to Toriel. “I'll try, Toriel. I can't promise anything, but I'll try.”

“That's all I ask,” Toriel says. 

She watches her sons in the silence that follows. 

“I don't know what to do, Kat,” she says, finally breaking the silence. 

“Whatever you do, don't let him know that you know he's lied. I know you're going to hate it, but some of our plan rests on you being close.”

“It does?” 

Kat looks past her. “I may have been angry for a while, but I never lost hope you'd realize that he is not the right person for you. Even if it's taken this long. I've gotten close to giving up, but Brooke or Miya or someone will usually help me keep going.” She smiles just a little bit, though it's filled with sadness and a tint of bitterness. “And I guess I didn't want to lose hope for you because then I would lose you entirely.” 

Toriel's eyes prick with tears. “I am so sorry, my child. I should have seen years ago.” She looks at her sons. “But… I guess two good things came from this.” 

Kat looks like she's holding back her anger. Even so, she can't help an angry, cold retort: “Anything that comes from Gaster is never good.” 

“Kat, they're children,” Toriel pleads. “You said you'd try.” 

She sighs and rubs her face. “I know, I know, I'm sorry, it's just… This isn't exactly the best situation, and he's the reason I'm here, and I actually do have issues now solely because of him. Forgive me if I don't take to his children right away.”

The motherly goat monster still looks a little upset, but she nods. 

After a while of watching her children, Toriel asks quietly, “How are you?” 

“You mean other than the fact people think I'm crazy?” She shrugs. “Fine. Sarah - she's my attendant - told me once that she found me trying to get out of here once. I don't remember a thing.” She's trying really hard not to grin. “Suppose it's possible I could have been sleepwalking. Then again, she said I was acting differently, so…”

Toriel frowns, confused. “Huh?” 

“I don't know. I mean, it's not at all possible there's another person in my head.” It's getting harder; she's biting her lip. 

The motherly goat monster studies her, then it clicks. “Wait. You actually like people thinking you're crazy?” She vaguely remembers Kat telling her about Ky once. 

The colorpoint grins. “A bit, yeah. It's kept us safe for the most part. I do come up with good ideas, even if I'm just a supposed voice in her head.” 

“Ky?” Toriel blinks. “Slow down, please, children…” 

She chuckles. “Sorry. We thought that since it isn't safe for me to actually have a body right now, we'd share. I gotta learn somehow, right?”

“I suppose so.” Toriel still seems disconcerted. 

“Sorry. I know it's kinda disconcerting, but.” Ky shrugs, then turns serious. “Listen. Gaster doesn't know about me. It's the only reason Kat knows anything about what really happened that day. If he knew about me, it would destroy everything we've done. He could erase both of our memories about what happened and remove any evidence of collateral damage. We agreed to tell you this because we both trust you. Please don't betray that trust.”

Toriel looks at Ky, sees the intensity and seriousness. Finally, she nods, and the cat across from her relaxes, smiling. “Thank you, Mom.” 

“You're my child. Of course.” She smiles a bit, then it fades. "What do I do now?" 

"Talk to Brooke. She and the rest who are high up in the rebellion have a plan. You are important - I'd dare say crucial - for that plan. We don't know all of it; Brooke says plausible deniability or something like that."

"Okay. I'll do it." Toriel nods. She can feel reality threatening to crash down, but for now, she can keep it at bay.

She winces a little when she sees Zach accidentally run into a wall. She can see him start to cry, but Quinton sits by him and hugs him, then tries cheering him up with some simple magic. It works. 

She smiles a little at her sons. They're so important to her. 

The colorpoint watches with an unreadable expression. Finally, she stands. "You should go. The longer you're here, the more you're at risk with him."

"But-" 

"Stay safe." 

"Kat, wait-" 

But her tail is the last visible bit of her, flicking. In what, she doesn't know. 

Sighing, she gets up, collects her sons, and hurries out.

She has a job to do. 


	15. A relief...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...in which Kat thought it would never come.

“Kat?”

She looks up from her book to see Sarah smiling at her. She smiles back, though it can only be called that as there's much sadness behind it, and closes her book, setting it aside as she stands. She walks over to Sarah, but instead of the usual chatter as she's lead to counseling or an activity or whatever, Sarah crouches and hugs her. “You can go home,” she says, beaming. 

Kat blinks, shock sweeping over her. She knows Gaster is dead and knew up until then that him being dead was her only way out, but to actually be told she can finally go home after years of being locked up in this prison of sorts… 

Tears come to her eyes and she hugs Sarah back. “I've waited so long for this,” she whispers. 

“I know.” Sarah releases her, just beaming like a ray of sun. “Come on. Your family is waiting.” 

Sarah leads Kat out into the public area, then to the stairway leading down to the main floor. Kat is resisting the urge to run, to see the sun from outside instead of the balcony patients are allowed. It works well, since there's always at least two attendants on duty - sometimes just one, if it's a monster who happens to have blue magic, or a human who's good with freezing spells - and thus prevents anyone from getting seriously injured or worse. 

_ Patience, _ Ky advises. She's eager too, though; Kat can tell. 

Finally, Sarah opens the door to her freedom, and Kat slowly steps outside, off-white clothes reflecting the sun as she closes her eyes, feeling the sun warming her and the wind cooling her. She smiles, the tears from earlier falling. 

For a long time, she just stands there, smiling and soaking in the outdoors. At last, she opens her eyes to see Toriel and Asriel. Toriel looks like she's on the verge of a breakdown, but she's here, and she's smiling, even if it's fragile.

Kat smiles, tears still falling. She starts walking to them, then slowly breaks into a run, hugging Toriel and crying in joy. Toriel hugs her back with a ferocity she'd nearly forgotten. For a long time, it seems just like years ago when they took care of each other; Kat hugging Toriel like she’s her only lifeline and Toriel close to a breakdown yet happy with Kat in her arms. 

Finally, Kat lets go of Toriel and turns that bright smile so full of emotion on Asriel. They stand - in a manner of speaking, of course, considering Asriel can't stand anymore - like that for a moment, then she climbs up and hugs him, too, more fiercely than Toriel. She had so much more to lose with him: her love (that she still doesn't know if it's reciprocated or not), her best friend, her technical yet not really prince, the person who means so much to her. Toriel is amazing too, of course, but their love isn't the same as the one she has and has had for Asriel. 

His hug isn't as fierce, but it's still tight. 

Finally, she lets go and slides to the ground, beaming at the two. 

“Let's go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're probably wondering how Gaster died. It's quite simple actually.
> 
> You remember how a couple chapters back, Kat said some of her siblings, the skelebros, and Mettaton fled? They visited Night Vale sometimes for the rebellion and supplies. On one such time, Papyrus killed Muffet, mostly out of panicked fury. 
> 
> Toriel was used as a distraction. She was watched for her safety by some of the Hopes, and they acted like she and the boys were kidnapped so Gaster would search for them. Meanwhile, the rest of the rebellion, Brooke doing the spell, summoned Huntokar to plead for her help. She finally agreed, and then Gaster appeared, having sensed her presence. She trapped him, they exchanged harsh words, then Papyrus actually killed him. This blurb takes place a day or two later.


	16. A lament...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...in which some find that moving on is harder than they thought.

Asriel rolls into the kitchen. He’s smiling at Kat, but it’s a sad smile. His smile these days is usually a bit sad. He misses his father, Gaster’s betrayal hurt a lot, everything, the knowledge of how he really was crippled…

Still, he smiles. “Hey.”

Kat is sitting on the counter (hey, if you were as short as her, you probably would too) munching half-heartedly on some chocolate she’d found. She returns the smile, almost a perfect mirror. Her sadness stems from her struggle of dealing with all the repercussions of everything that’s happened, not the least of which being her struggle to purr. She can still do it, of course, but it’s almost like she’s forgotten how. It’s usually stiff and broken. She knows it’s a problem, but she’s hoping she can fix it, in time and with help.

“Hey.” 

He touches her knee. “How are you today?”

“Alive. Functioning.” She shrugs. “You?”

He glances at his useless legs. “As well as can be expected.”

He smiles at her. “Where’d you get that chocolate?”

“Mom doesn’t hide the chocolate very well.” The smile becomes more genuine for a moment before it falls completely. “I know it doesn’t really count for anything, and I know I’ve said it before, but I’m really sorry for what happened. You don’t deserve this.”

Asriel shrugs. “It hurt to know he was the one who caused it, but I can live with it. It’s you who doesn’t deserve everything he did to you. He tortured you. For years. At least I was pretty happy with his lies.”

His smile turns brittle. “I should have seen him for what he was.”

Her expression clouds briefly at mention of Gaster’s twisted experiments, but she shoves the memories aside. Now isn’t the time.

“That’s just the thing. He lied. Not just to you, but to everyone. Sometimes they’re too hard to see through because they’re more appealing than the truth.”

She’s silent for a beat. “I was tempted to give in, sometimes. To let the pretty lies claim the last resistance there was.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Asriel reaches for her, but he can’t do more than simply touch her knees. “I’m really glad. You’ve done so much for us all. You went into the hospital because you wouldn’t let him get away with it all. I can’t… I can’t express how much I admire that.”

“Not that it did a whole ton.” 

“No. It meant a lot. It still does. Brooke says your story was instrumental to the rebellion. They all know what he did to you in order to keep his lies in shape.”

“But it took this long to defeat him. His lies couldn't hold shape forever either way. I saw how miserable you and Mom were before I drove you both away. You would have found out eventually. “

“Maybe.” His green eyes hold hers. “But no matter what you think, I’ll always be grateful. And I’ll always regret ever letting him close to Mother.”

“Me too. If he hadn't, maybe Asgore…” She swallows, fighting emotion. 

“I know,” Asriel whispers. “Come here.” He holds out his arms, inviting her to climb onto his lap. It makes him feel like a knockoff Santa Claus, but it’s the only way he can hold her now. It’s how he cuddles his half brothers, too.

Kat hesitates for a moment, but she carefully climbs from the counter to his lap, hugging him. “I miss him,” she whispers. “I miss him so much.” 

“Me too.” A hot, painful lump rises in his throat. He hugs her back, almost clinging to her. “Every day, I wish he was still here.”

“I wish so many things. We could have stopped it. I should have gone to see him. I should have at least called. I should have…” Her voice wavers, tears threatening. 

“I know.” He rubs her back. “I know.”

How many times has he thought about that night? About how happy he was at the wedding--well, not happy, but contented, lively, happy for Toriel, at least--and about his father. He’s imagined it so many times. Asgore would have cried for hours. He knew how much his father loved his mother--he  _ knew _ how much it pained him to see her hate him. He knew how depressed Asgore must have been. Life wasn’t worth living for him anymore, with Toriel gone and almost everything he had lived for slipping away.

He doesn’t know how he spent his final moments. Was he crying? Was he at peace with his choice? Did he think of how much it would rip Asriel apart to lose his father, right after he’d gotten him back again? Did he know what the future would hold for his broken kingdom, how freedom would be cruelly snatched away and crippled again?

And if he had survived, would he have tried to stop Gaster from doing all he did?

Asriel doesn’t know, but the thoughts make him weep for his lost father.

Kat is thinking along the same lines, and silent tears fall down her face. She’s gotten good at being quiet. 

So much has happened. She still wonders about Farseer, what happened to him, what Gaster did. She only knows what Asgore told her. 

She thinks of all those lost. The human children. Asgore. Likely dozens that Gaster covered up - it wouldn't surprise her in the least. 

Asriel’s crying, however, puts her tears on the back burner, and she hugs him, trying -  _ trying  _ \- to purr. It doesn't come. Still, she tries helping him in whatever way she can. 

Asriel rubs her back, stroking her, trying to comfort her how he can. He’s sniffling and crying. Seems like years since they held each other. She’s grown up. He’s grown up, although not in the way he’d imagined. Neither of them have.

Kat is more or less silent as they comfort each other. A wry, bitter smile finds its way onto her muzzle. What a pair they are. A paralyzed flower-goat monster and a short cat with mental issues - real ones actually caused by Gaster, not the ones he fabricated she had. 

Asriel keeps holding her, even after his tears dry up. He’s not ready to stop holding her. He’s missed her so much. Even now that she’s here, he misses her still. He doesn’t think he’ll ever stop missing the way she was, in the brief months she was better, before Gaster swooped in and made her already traumatized life a thousand times worse.

Still. He’s glad she’s here, even haunted. Gaster could have killed her. He could have made another precious life wither like the flowers on Asriel’s head.

Kat doesn't let go either. She's so missed love. She's missed affection, missed caring smiles, pats on the head, someone smoothing her ears, being pet. Love in touch. She couldn't have that for years. That in itself was a torture, forget the emotional manipulation spells Gaster used, though admittedly there were times then where she thought she might actually go insane. She's quite surprised she didn't. Those spells put her under so much pressure that several times she got close to snapping. 

She still sees him sometimes. She thinks it’s an effect of those blasted spells being used so many times. It’s never for long, but it’s disorienting and sometimes triggers an attack. And she hates this. She hates feeling so helpless, hates how messed up she is emotionally, hates how she can't ever be the same. Those danned spells… 

She's had too much of emotions, but she knows she needs them. She has to feel. She doesn't know what she'd do if she didn't feel.   

But feeling hurts so, so much...

Asriel holds her to his chest, smoothing her ears, stroking her back. Even with so many people he loves gone, he still has Kat. She’s still his best friend. He loves her, not romantically, but he genuinely felt as if a piece of himself was missing when she was gone. They need each other.

And a soft, warm feeling blossoms in his chest when he holds her tight.

Maybe saying he doesn’t love her romantically was inaccurate.

Kat closes her eyes, listening to Asriel's heartbeat. It helps to ground her, to keep her from panicking. Her attacks aren't bad, not really, but they're hard to calm down from. It's easier to avoid them, to keep calm. 

She's glad the Dreemurrs have always been the type to show affection physically, especially now. Asriel petting her, hugging her, trying to calm her, ignites a small spark of a safe feeling. That, and one she's had for years, one Ky used to tease her about in better days. 

_ I miss them too. I wish it could have been different here. Better. But even Asriel can't go back that far.  _

“I missed you, Kat.” He strokes her back with a steady, warm hand. “So much.”

“I missed you too. I missed you so much, it hurt.” 

“I didn’t think you would ever get better. I hoped that they’d let you out for a long time. After a while, I stopped remembering you. It hurt too much. Gaster would tell me that you were safe, you were fine, that I shouldn’t visit because it might make you worse. I’m sorry I listened to him.”

“Don't. I told you, I never blamed you. If I were in your shoes, I probably wouldn't have believed me either.” 

“Even still.” He sighs, wheeling over so he can get some water. The crying made him thirsty. He doesn’t let go of Kat. “I promise I won’t forget you again. Even if some wizard tries to use a memory spell on me again, I don’t ever want to forget about you. I might not be much anymore, but I hope I can still be your best friend.”

“You never stopped.” Kat manages a small smile. 

He chuckles. “Then you didn’t have much of friendship to compare it to. Not even Brooke? She visited you all the time. She believed you. She fought to bring Gaster down. I never realized just how awesome she is until she told me everything.”

“She is awesome, yeah. But you have always had a place in my heart.” 

_ For more than one reason.  _

Ky's teasing again. Kat smiles a bit. 

Maybe there is hope for a brighter future. 

“I’m glad. Your heart is an awesome place.”

The door opens, and an exhausted-looking Toriel comes in. She’s carrying Zach, with Quinton giggling as he races in. Even though the little skeleton monster is sad over losing his father, kids are happy sometimes. He’s happy now.

Toriel tries not to make Zach a burden of shame--he’s a person, after all, and although she regrets so much, she’d never regret having her children--but she knows that Kat doesn’t love him. She doesn’t blame her. Zach spends so much time in skeleton form, and with his Void eyes, he’ll always be a reminder of his father’s crimes.

She gives her youngest son a kiss on his head before setting him down. The way Kat’s cuddling Asriel, sitting on his lap, makes her smile. They have such a beautiful friendship.

Kat opens her eyes when the door opens, and she sees Toriel carrying Zach. Instantly, her demeanor freezes, and though she stays sitting on Asriel's lap (even if it's something of an odd position and must look equally odd, what with her being so short) she stops hugging him. She doesn't say anything. 

She knows the boys are innocent, that they aren't to blame for their father's crimes, but they remind her of the timeline that could have been, the one that can never be, the man who is the cause of it all. It's hard for her to disassociate the hatred for him with these two that he created. 

Zach wanted to sit on Asriel’s lap and tell him about his day. He wanted to play with his big brother, instead of seeing the cat with cold blue eyes. He wants to be friends with the Kat. Right? She can be friends with him. Mama loves her.

But under the gaze of those icy eyes, he shrinks into himself. 

Toriel notices the look, but she brushes it off as she kisses Kat’s forehead. “Hello, my child.”

Quinton zooms upstairs. “Mama, come play with me!”

Asriel notices how Toriel has many new gray furs, and lines around her eyes. She’s still beautiful, red eyes warm as ever, but she seems to have aged decades in the week since Gaster died.

“Hi, Toriel.” Kat smiles a little at her. 

Asriel smiles too. “Don’t mind us. We just both needed a hug.”

“Of course.” Toriel leans in and hugs them both in her warm, strong arms. “There’s nothing weird about needing a hug.”

“Mama!” Quinton calls again.

“In a minute, love!”

Kat looks at the doorway for a moment, then briefly at Zach before she looks away. Usually she feels anger, but today, she's just sad and tired. One of these two - maybe both of them; she doesn't know - could have been Asgore's, had things turned out differently. 

She closes her eyes. Thinking about that hurts. 

“Go on,” Asriel says. “We’re okay. How was your day, Zachie?”

Toriel starts to leave, heading to attend to her middle son.

Zach looks away. He misses Daddy. Tommy said Daddy was a bad man, an evil man. Mommy says he did bad things. But he had a bad dream during nap time, and he missed Daddy telling him there’s nothing to fear. He misses the secret things Daddy would show him, the magic.

But Daddy isn’t coming back anymore, and although so many people say that’s a good thing, that new concept-- _ dead _ \--makes him feel like a very little boy in a very, very big world. Mommy cries about it too, and Azzie and Quinton. But for different reasons, he thinks.

Kat glances at Asriel and a spot near Zach for a moment, then climbs down. “I'll let you two talk.” She walks out. 

“Come on, sport. Did you have a good day?”

Zach shakes his head.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Despite knowing that their relationship was a lie, Asriel loves his half brothers. It’s not their fault what their father did to bring them into this world. None of this was ever their fault. In their own way, they’re just as much victims as Kat is.

Zach shakes his head again. “Can you gimme snack, please?”

Asriel lets him have his silence as he wheels around, putting things together for the little boy. Zach will talk when he feels ready.

As Asriel is getting grapes out of the fridge, Zach blurts out. “Can Daddy come back?”

Asriel pauses, then shakes his head. “No, Zach,” he says quietly. He thinks of his own daddy, and his false relationship with Gaster. “No. Once a person is dead, they don’t get to come back. And if he did, he wouldn’t be nice like you remember.”

“I want him.”

Asriel puts down the grapes and wheels over to his brother. “I know you do.”

Zach looks down. “I miss him.”

Kat is silent as she listens to the conversation. Usually, she wouldn't eavesdrop, but she is trying (emphasis on trying) really hard to not hate these boys. They can't help who their father is, just like she couldn't help who her parents were. 

But it's so much easier to hate them. They represent the timeline that can never be, the things Gaster has put her through,  Gaster himself and all the other horrible things he did. 

_ Hate may be easier, but is it worth it?  _

_ I don't know. That's what I'm trying to figure out.  _ A beat.  _ Why are you the one telling me this?  _

_ Don't get me wrong, I want to hate them to. I really do. But if we came from hell-awful people and you ended up this sweet - and it's the same for Kaylee, Neal, and everyone else - then why can't they be the same?  _

Kat is silent.  _ You have a point.  _

_ I usually do.  _ Ky softens.  _ We have to at least give them a chance.  _

_ I know. I know. I really am trying. They deserve a chance.  _

Asriel pulls his little brother onto his lap, stroking his transparent fur. “I know. I… miss him too.”

He does. He misses the way Gaster pretended to be. He loved Gaster, not like a father perhaps, but like a good friend. He wishes that it was real.

And he misses his own father so much it feels like he’s missing pieces of himself.

Zach starts to cry, hugging Asriel. “Daddy…”

“Shh, shh. It’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”

“No I won’t,” he wails. “Daddy was bad, but I want him. I want him to be good.”

_ We all did, once.  _ Kat looks at the wall before her.  _ Maybe things would have been different. Better.  _

Asriel holds his brother tight, wishing he could do more to help his grief. How is Zach going to grow up, now that everyone knows what his father was? If he knows that he was born because of a lie.

“Shh,” he says softly. “I know, Zach. I know.”

It's hard to hear Zach genuinely cry over Gaster. Hatred mixes with sympathy, and she simultaneously wants to punch a wall and comfort the child. 

She ends up staying where she is, at least for the moment. 

“Did something happen today?” Asriel asks softly. “You don’t usually start crying for no reason.”

“I missed him,” Zach sniffles. “And Tommy told me he was bad. He said he hurt lots of people. Like your daddy, but worse.”

Asriel stiffens slightly, but relaxes. It is the truth that Asgore hurt people. He wasn’t evil, but… Asriel wishes so much that he had made better choices.

Still, they can’t change the past. They can only work with what they have to make a better future.

“He did,” Asriel says. “But it’s okay to cry for him. It’s okay to be sad. He was part of our family.”

“Mommy said, when she didn’t think I was hearing, that he didn’t love her, or Quinton, or me, or you…” Zach wails. “It’s not true, right?”

Kat exhales. Asriel shouldn't have to explain this alone. 

She walks into the doorway, leaning against the frame. “No. It's true,” she says quietly. 

Asriel gives Kat something that’s not a glare, but close. He hugs his little brother. 

Zach starts crying even harder. His fur becomes white again. With his eyes screwed shut, he looks a lot like a younger Asriel. Just another kid.

Kat cringes a little under the glare, but she walks over anyway, reaching up to rest a paw on Zach’s back. “I know you loved him. I'm sorry you couldn't have that in return.” 

She's surprising even herself with the level of comfort she's trying to give. 

He’s just crying, wailing with grief. He buries his face into his older brother’s shoulder. 

Zach is smart, but Asriel worries he might not be ready to deal with this. Intelligent as he is, he’s still just a little boy. He doesn’t want Zach to have to deal with the harsh truth quite yet.

“But your mother loves you, and Asriel loves you. They can more than make up for the love you couldn't get. They love you a lot.” 

She's finally admitting it to herself. She can't ignore it anymore. It's not fair to any of them. 

“Yeah,” Asriel says. “Quinton and Mother and I would do anything for you, Zach. We’ll be okay. We have each other.”

He’s crying, but it comforts him.

Kat is starting to look uncomfortable, glancing between Asriel and Zach, as if uncertain if she should stay or even come in at all. 

Asriel puts a hand over Kat’s paw on Zach’s back. His eyes ask her to stay, to help his brother. 

_ I don't know what to do,  _ she signs with her free paw. 

_ He’s grieving. I know you can help. _

Zach sniffles into Asriel’s shoulder.

_ How? I know nothing about these kids. And they just remind me that a better ending could never have been once Gaster proposed.  _

_ This isn’t the ending any of us wanted, but the fact remains that my brothers are still people. They’re just kids. And they’re good kids at that. _

Kat looks between him and Zach for a while.  _ I just… I don’t know what to do for them. Maybe I would have, once, when everything was better, when I didn’t have legitimate issues, when I was happier… I’m not that person anymore. I’m just… not. _

_ Don’t think about the past. Think about the future. I know you can try. As much as you wish he never existed, he’s a good child. He’s my brother.  _

She wants to ask ‘what future?’ but it’s a bit morbid and not exactly fitting in the situation. Maybe if she were still in that place. 

She closes her eyes.  _ I don’t know how, Asriel. _ She withdraws her paw.

Asriel nods and keeps comforting his younger brother. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I miss him too. I thought he was good.”

Kat steps back. Right now, she feels she’ll do more harm than good. She’s at a complete loss for words against this child’s grief.

“Me too.” He opens black eyes, deep as a well of night. There’s a fiery Determination in them. “I hate him,” he says softly. It turns harder, louder, as he curls tiny hands into fists. “I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!”

It’s offset by the fact that he’s still crying.

No; it’s too late. She’s already done damage.

_ Why did I have to butt in? _

Asriel keeps stroking Zach’s ears. “Shhh, Zach. Shh.”

“No! I hate him! He shouldn’t have been evil!” He jumps down off of Asriel’s lap and races upstairs, crying.

Kat jumps out of his way, her gaze staying on the doorway as she sighs, ears folding. “I should’ve just shut up,” she mutters.

Asriel is quiet for a moment. They’re all hurt in their own ways. She shouldn’t have, but at least she’s trying.

“We’ll learn to deal with it eventually,” he says finally. “We have each other. It might take years, but we’ll be okay.”

“Sometimes I wonder.” She’s still looking out the doorway. 

Toriel’s voice can be heard, comforting her youngest son.

“Me too,” he admits. “But we’re still alive, and we’re free. Truly free, for the first time ever. I think we can make it.”

Kat doesn’t answer for a while.

“I still see him sometimes,” she finally says quietly. “Just for a split second, or from the corner of my eye. I hate it so much. It’s like somehow, even though he’s dead, those spells still linger. Kind of makes me wonder if they have a permanent edge or effect, or if it’s just me and I’ve finally, truly gone crazy. It wouldn’t surprise me, honestly.”

She shrugs. “Or maybe I’ve always been crazy. I wouldn’t know.”

“He hurt you a lot. It doesn’t surprise me. As long as you don’t go on a killing spree, I think I can deal with it. My mother has delusions all the time.”

“It’s just him, though.” Kat sits on the floor and closes her eyes. “I spent so much time in that hospital just trying to live, to fight him off, thinking that once he was defeated that I’d really be free. And then it happens and I’m here, still tormented by him.”

“We all are. It’s just something we have to live with.”

“Yeah. I guess.”

Asriel is silent for a while, and then he says, “Wanna watch a movie with me or something?”

“Sure.”

He smiles and wheels over to the living room, firing up Netflix. It feels like forever since the two of them did something as simple as watching a movie together. And, he has to admit, as much as he dislikes the wheelchair, it’s a step up from being a flower. He has to remember that.

She sits next to him, curled in a ball. She knows he's trying to help, but he has his own issues. They all do. She doesn't want to push them away again with her problems. 

Maybe it would be better if she just helped them. They wouldn't have to worry about her on top of their own problems and she can help them recover. If it means helping them, she can push her needs away.

Right? 


	17. Preference & stuff

Just here to ask if there's anything you, the readers, want to see. Should I post the other side? Is there anything you want to know? 

Throw your questions at me; I'm ready to answer. >:3


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